Brass Players Real Rules of Engagement/Behaviour
- Always show up late for rehearsal. It lets the conductor know how much he needs you.
- Don't practice too much ahead of time. You don't want to "peak" too soon.
- If you take a pencil to rehearsal, take enough for everybody...and make sure the eraser is worn down. It helps give the music an antique look.
- Always ad lib and take things up an octave. It shows initiative, and the composer would probably be grateful.
- Always laugh out loud when someone misses a note. Humiliation builds character.
- Always chew gum during rehearsal. It shows everyone that you can do two things at one time.
- Never count during long rests. Rely on your neighbour to tell you when to play.
- Always play the 4th Horn cues, because he always plays yours.
- Always be the last one to cut off. Someone has to.
- Always slouch in your chair. It shows you are relaxed.
- Never play absolutely in tune. It sounds funny.
- Always raise your hand during rehearsal and ask a stupid question. It helps kill time, and gives everyone a chance to stare at you.
- Always make strange noises through your instrument. It draws attention to yourself.
- Always beat your foot in time with a piece other than what you are playing.
- Never let anyone play louder than you.
- Always glance at the conductor. He likes to think he's in charge.