Brass Bands Humour 
 
Ten Things You'll Never Hear Your Conductor Say Coming Up to Contest
Courtesy of Capricornia Silver Band
  1. Gee, that's a boring hymn. Let's play another one
  2. Well played, everyone. Let's go home early.
  3. I wasn't much of a player, myself.
  4. Nicely played, trombones. So tuneful.
  5. If you can't play it, don't worry about it.
  6. What do you think?
  7. I never wanted to be a conductor. I wanted to be a lumberjack.
  8. Of course you can miss rehearsals. We're so fortunate that you choose to play with us.
  9. Sorry, I lied. We have absolutely no chance of winning anything - ever!
  10. I was wrong.



For more general humour, visit  Satiche - humour repository