Humour 
    
 
Bands Directory   |   Events   |   Products & Services   |   People   |   Organisations   |   Reference   |   About IBEW   |   Contact
 



Ways to improve band

  • Everyone should play the same piece
  • During a concert stop at every repeat sign and discuss in detail whether to take the repeat or not. The audience will love this a lot!
  • If you play a wrong note, give a nasty look to your partner
  • Always keep your fingering chart handy. You can always catch up with the others
  • Carefully tune your instrument before playing. That way you can play out of tune all night with a clear conscience
  • Take your time turning pages
  • The right note at the wrong time is a wrong note (and vice-versa)
  • If everyone gets lost except you, follow those who get lost
  • Strive to get the maximum NPS (notes per second). That way you gain the admiration of the incompetent
  • Markings for slurs, dynamics and ornaments should not be observed. They are only there to embelish the score and make it look nice
  • If a passage is difficult, slow down.If it's easy speed up. Everything will work itself out in the end
  • If you are completely lost, stop everyone else and say , "I think we should tune"
  • Happy are those who have not perfect pitch, for the kingdom of music is theirs
  • If the ensemble has to stop because of you, explain in detail why you got lost. Everyone will be very interested
  • A true interpretation is realised when there remains not one note of the original left
  • A wrong note played timidly is a wrong note. A wrong note played with authority is an interpretation
  • When everyone else has finished playing, you should not play any notes left over
  • Never, ever look at the conductor. He might mistake it for interest and try and put some real music in the piece